grief of a nation, reminds us of ours

 will not pretend that my heart and soul is any different than the other's in this world who are broken for these lives. I will however admit that I am having a very hard time with the loss of life. I tried for almost 15 years to have a baby. My husband and I did whatever we could to bring a child in to this world. In an odd way that some may understand, but most will not I understand what these parents are feeling. Ten years ago we decided to stop trying to have our own child, and adoption was out of the question. In that same year both of our father's passed away. The last words from my father was an apology for not taking me to the hospital in time to stop my appendix from bursting, the ultimate reason I was unable to have children. This was mother's day. These were the last words my Dad said to me. 9/11 happened that year. Soon after my loving and darling husband was told that his disease was so rare they had no way to treat him. The last 10 years of my life have been filled with grief. Today I have no answer on how to heal, there are day's and moments that I do not want to face yet another family with there kid's, Christmas and joy. But we do. Today yet again we faced a new doctor, as I saw in this doctor's eyes as they watched my husband, and judged him. What is Mitochondria? What is the actual name of the disease..? It took everything in my power to not stand up, pick him up and smack him. I was patient, and I gave him information, and attempted to explain what it is like to see the one you love crumble...I may not have lost a child in Sandy Hook, but I really do understand the grief that these people are under. I have nothing other than faith and our love in each other and God to offer. It can not be wrapped in a present, but we will tell anyone that will listen that our lives would not have continued in these last 10 years without our continued love for our LORD> We are broken, so in this way we believe we belong to a really bad club. A club that really does not want any other members.