tick tock tick tock

It may be walking by, passing by, running by, speeding by or simply just standing.
Our kitten Pookie, is going to die.
Yes I am aware that everything and everyone dies.
But it is becoming more evident that he will be gone very soon. In some ways it seems like a way to prepare us, a we see his muscle melt away, and feel his bones. Even Baci is trying to help us greive, as he finishes Pookies food. But we both know at soon he will be gone.
How far away we have come in our lives far away from the farm. A life that brings birth, innocence, maturity, self esteem, tragedy, soul searching, reasoning, science, faith, patience and death. How much better we all could be to adapt the life of a farm.
We would need no more counseling or drugs to keep us stable, because at a very young age we would be exposed to all that glitters. Have you ever seen the sunrise on a farm in the fall? The crisp fog, puddles of glass, dew like jewels, as it rises it brings more life. A life I am not qualified to describe, one that I close my eyes and can sometimes picture with a touch of the spider web touched by the dew.

a day does not define us

In the last three days you have had more seizures that I can count. I have witnessed almost all of them but now I am wondering if they are not all connected. When you are not seizing are you actually in a seizure? No one could ever understand any of this, they do not spend enough time with you to see your face change. Or your behavior. I can not even describe what it all looks like, or how it feels. I am certain that we need help. More help than anyone is offering, but I am at a loss for finding the help. When I called today and heard your distress, how much anguish you felt and despair. Then it happened I heard you drop the phone, and the noise of your arms flapping against the pots in our kitchen. I heard your feet hitting the hard wood floor and the grunting noises that coming out of your mouth in between your cry's for help and prayers. And then the phone went dead...
no answer as I desperately called back...
no answer as I tried again..
no answer to the neighbor's house...
no answer as I started to pray...
As I drove through traffic that seemed to be slower I prayed for the Lord to keep me calm and to hold you until I got to the house
Finally neighbor answers, checks on you, no answer on the door, looks through the window "is he breathing?" "yes it seems that he is, he looks ok he is on the couch" "okay, I will be there soon he must have passed out after the seizure"
Minutes pass as I finally arrive home.
You are on the floor, responsive but confused.
this is our life
a day that does not define us